have you ever touched life....

there comes a time in life, when your childish fantasies start to look ridiculously colorful, and a giant black hole in your heart sucks them all inside. and the yellows and reds all fade to black and white.
you walk into the "real world".

that's where i found myself the other day. at first it appeared like i was rudely pushed into it. and then, like it weighs down everyone else, it anchored me to its gray infertile ground. and there i remained. afraid to be too happy, holding my lips down with a frown when i smiled, guarding my step if i spring too much, watching my lips if they hum that delicious song....

if it reads like another dreamer martyred then it probably isnt. martyrdom is too important a word to be used for an event this commonplace. today, i choose to glorify the other kind of people, who aren't martyrs, who don't suffer and sacrifice, they "live", in such an absolute way that the air around them breathes life into others.

they aren't weighed down by real world. they aren't even aware of it. they walk around, free spirits, because they can see the color that we dont. they don't look down to see if they're leavin their footprints or their mark. they look ahead because the world is theirs, and they are free to walk. they drink from fountains that spring up just for them, not because they are born lucky, but because they dream in the real world, their eyes paint color in the gray skies.

they laugh, untempered by doubts. loud and pure. their laughter is music, tugging at our heart, tickling the "ourselves" that we've allowed to vanish into the black holes in our hearts. they smile, a smile that starts in their eyes, and is mirrored on our lips, and in our hearts that ache dully at the memory of beauty. they have miseries, but they are hope themselves. they make you understand, that beauty is a feeling inside you, and beauty is all you feel when you look at them live.

sometimes they stop to shake hands with you. your eyes can then paint colour into the skies, not because they taught you how, but because their touch is what god meant life to be. in their eyes they carry the whole world that you have locked up inside your heart, the color, the music, the laughter. how many worlds they are inside themselves, you may never understand, but when they speak, they sound like they are completing your unfinished symphonies, singing your unsung songs and adressing your forgotten dreams.

but they don't know your eyes and your heart. they are only being romanced by their own lives.
you want to look into their eyes some more, you want to hold their hands and hear them, to feel the beauty inside you, to see your dreams again, to experience pure love.
but they move on, because they are the unbound free. they take nothing from you, but they leave their eyes on you, and all those worlds in their eyes to call yours, they leave the color in your skies, and the smile on your lips, they leave your heart in the hands of yourself...

the real world becomes a pallete to color, and you know, for always, inside your heart, that you have known the resonance of true beauty, love and hope........