The audacious curiosity of an outsider

What moulds us, what brings kindred spirits together, what makes cultures territorial? What makes one an outsider? Can one REALLY ever blend in if one tried?


The variegated scope of culture has always fascinated me. It is evolving. It is polychotomous, and multidimensional, and yet you can pretend to trace the roots to one origin. It binds. It divides. It is dynamic and yet its character remains constant, to "go back" to or borrow from. It is that safe place that you can retreat to, to calm the chaos in your life.

I have been drawn to new cultures and its people. I have been an observer and an implementer of cultures; always beginning as an outsider, trying to learn the ways of the people within, trying to take in what i can, in an effort to make it act with my own nascent elements. Its always been an exercize that involved effort, and left a rewarding soreness in the parts of my mind that I rarely acknowledged.

I've enjoyed being the outsider. I have loved the feeling of being foreign, unrecognized, unanswerable, and unpredictable. And then the feeling of being malleable, mouldable, adaptable, changeable. But then an outsider is a dirty word; someone who is a threat or a disturbance to harmony. The wanderlust in me usually places me in that spot. But somehow although it has been a setback, and a frustrating one at that, i have never been deterred by the stigma to hesitate from stepping into newer waters and pre-inhabited spaces. It has amused me that in new societies I am eyed with curiosity, disgust, wonderment, awe even. It scares me in retrospect that my defences are not in place where they should be in untread territory. A friend once called it courage, i believe it is naievete. Fed by curiosity. I continue to explore cultures unabashedly, with no respect for defences, impressions, opinions or consequence.

...because i've thought of finishing what ive started

Day 12 – How did I find out about Twitter and why I’m on it?

I did not, and i am not. I have never been much of a "feel it share it" kinda person except in my own private circles, who dont need twitter :)
Day 13 – A letter to someone who has hurt me recently.
Well, honey, you have done some things and said some words that have felt quite hurtful, and although i know and understand that your sensibilities do not allow you to recognize that this behaviour maybe hurtful, I will take some time to filter all your words through this rationality. In the meanwhile, you may find me of dwindling temperament and confounding disposition, but soon, you should find me somewhere between great and super. Hope we see it through to that day, i would love to know you from a place where you cannot hurt me, because after all is said and done you have been one of the most real people ive come across.

Day 14 – A picture that says a lot.

Day 15 – Put iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play?

Something stupid. Better together. Pocketful of sunshine. My humps. Taking back my love. Brighter than sunshine. Blow. Where them girls at. Almost lover. Lucky.

 Day 16 – A picture of me

.

Day 17 – Someone I would want to switch lives with for one day and why?
Samantha Brown perhaps. Because all her days seem very interesting. :)

Day 18 – Plans/dreams/goals I have?

To stay purposeful and proud/to run over the rainbow/to stand at the end and feel a glow.

Day 19 – Nicknames I have; why do I have them?

Chim; haha! i wish i knew why i have this name. I guess it is a product of all the gibberish that an adult converses with a child in. But its adorable! :)

Day 20 – Someone I see myself marrying/being with in the future?

A man who can smile at me flying and laugh at himself.

Day 21 – A picture of something that makes me happy.

Day 22 – What makes me different from everyone else?

I often wonder what it is. I cannot answer this honestly.

Day 23 – Something I crave for a lot?

A constant kindred spirit.

Day 24 – A letter to the parents?

This one cannot be just answer 24. It deserves a post of its own. :)

Day 25- What would you find in my bag?

Chocolates, lip balm, keys, money, tissues and a smiley stress ball.

Day 26 – What you think about you are your friends?
Because this question makes no sense i am not answering it :)

Day 27 – Why am I doing this 30 day challenge?

Pushing thoughts around. :)

Day 28 – A picture of me from last year and now, how have I changed since then?

No, no no, im not doing this. I have changed completely and no picture exhibits that enough.

Day 29 – In this past month, what have I learned?

That nobody can be forced to "fit" with you against their will. Human will is quite obstinate.

Day 30 – Who am I?
There is no answer to this question, i am in a state of evolution i am not at pace with myself. :) someday, in a moment of clarity, i shall answer this.