What moulds us, what brings kindred spirits together, what makes cultures territorial? What makes one an outsider? Can one REALLY ever blend in if one tried?
The variegated scope of culture has always fascinated me. It is evolving. It is polychotomous, and multidimensional, and yet you can pretend to trace the roots to one origin. It binds. It divides. It is dynamic and yet its character remains constant, to "go back" to or borrow from. It is that safe place that you can retreat to, to calm the chaos in your life.
I have been drawn to new cultures and its people. I have been an observer and an implementer of cultures; always beginning as an outsider, trying to learn the ways of the people within, trying to take in what i can, in an effort to make it act with my own nascent elements. Its always been an exercize that involved effort, and left a rewarding soreness in the parts of my mind that I rarely acknowledged.
I've enjoyed being the outsider. I have loved the feeling of being foreign, unrecognized, unanswerable, and unpredictable. And then the feeling of being malleable, mouldable, adaptable, changeable. But then an outsider is a dirty word; someone who is a threat or a disturbance to harmony. The wanderlust in me usually places me in that spot. But somehow although it has been a setback, and a frustrating one at that, i have never been deterred by the stigma to hesitate from stepping into newer waters and pre-inhabited spaces. It has amused me that in new societies I am eyed with curiosity, disgust, wonderment, awe even. It scares me in retrospect that my defences are not in place where they should be in untread territory. A friend once called it courage, i believe it is naievete. Fed by curiosity. I continue to explore cultures unabashedly, with no respect for defences, impressions, opinions or consequence.
Saturday, May 05, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
...because i've thought of finishing what ive started
Day 12 – How did I find out about Twitter and why I’m on it?
I did not, and i am not. I have never been much of a "feel it share it" kinda person except in my own private circles, who dont need twitter :)Day 13 – A letter to someone who has hurt me recently.
Well, honey, you have done some things and said some words that have felt quite hurtful, and although i know and understand that your sensibilities do not allow you to recognize that this behaviour maybe hurtful, I will take some time to filter all your words through this rationality. In the meanwhile, you may find me of dwindling temperament and confounding disposition, but soon, you should find me somewhere between great and super. Hope we see it through to that day, i would love to know you from a place where you cannot hurt me, because after all is said and done you have been one of the most real people ive come across.
Day 14 – A picture that says a lot.
Day 15 – Put iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play?
Something stupid. Better together. Pocketful of sunshine. My humps. Taking back my love. Brighter than sunshine. Blow. Where them girls at. Almost lover. Lucky.
.
Day 17 – Someone I would want to switch lives with for one day and why?
Samantha Brown perhaps. Because all her days seem very interesting. :)
Day 18 – Plans/dreams/goals I have?
To stay purposeful and proud/to run over the rainbow/to stand at the end and feel a glow.
Day 19 – Nicknames I have; why do I have them?
Chim; haha! i wish i knew why i have this name. I guess it is a product of all the gibberish that an adult converses with a child in. But its adorable! :)
Day 20 – Someone I see myself marrying/being with in the future?
A man who can smile at me flying and laugh at himself.
Day 21 – A picture of something that makes me happy.
Day 22 – What makes me different from everyone else?
Day 23 – Something I crave for a lot?
A constant kindred spirit.
Day 24 – A letter to the parents?
This one cannot be just answer 24. It deserves a post of its own. :)
Day 25- What would you find in my bag?
Chocolates, lip balm, keys, money, tissues and a smiley stress ball.
Day 26 – What you think about you are your friends?
Because this question makes no sense i am not answering it :)
Because this question makes no sense i am not answering it :)
Day 27 – Why am I doing this 30 day challenge?
Pushing thoughts around. :)
Day 28 – A picture of me from last year and now, how have I changed since then?
No, no no, im not doing this. I have changed completely and no picture exhibits that enough.
Day 29 – In this past month, what have I learned?
That nobody can be forced to "fit" with you against their will. Human will is quite obstinate.
Day 30 – Who am I?
There is no answer to this question, i am in a state of evolution i am not at pace with myself. :) someday, in a moment of clarity, i shall answer this.
There is no answer to this question, i am in a state of evolution i am not at pace with myself. :) someday, in a moment of clarity, i shall answer this.
Monday, November 21, 2011
still trudging on my personal "writer" project..
I started this with aplomb, and am determined to finish it, as my writer's block continues its psychotherapy (I continue to call myself a writer :))
Here are my next five exercizes that i will attend to in one breath:
Day 06 – Favorite super hero and why?:
Does Alladin count? He did some really incredible stuff! No? OK, so if we are talking strictly superheroes, I would choose Mr. Incredible :) For those who live in the "real" world, Mr Incredible is an animated big-town man who is a superhero by birth, had incredulous strength and magnificent reflexes, who fell in love with and married "Elastagirl" and they had superhero babies, but he was bound to matrimony and domesticized to a home-at-six desk job, away from his thrilling life. He stayed, furtively, on the crime fighting scene despite his admonishing wife. :) You have to see him squeeze his burly frame into his tiny vestibule of a car and drive to work by day and sneak out at night to crime-fight-cheat his wife by night to love him. :) He's downright adorable. :)
Day 07 – A picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on me.
Happily, I do not have anyone like this. :) Everyone ive met and who has made an impact on me has done it in spoonfuls at a time, and impacts have waxed and waned enough to not qualify anybody for this blogpost, no matter how creative i choose to be. :)
Day 08 – Short term goals for this month and why?
Oh, that's easy! I want to plan my first lone-vacation :) And i'm taking one goal at a time, given my habit of piling my plate and running around with it. :)
Day 09 – Something I’m proud of in the past few days.
Oh, I am on my own in a new city, and I'm doing just fine so far. Adventurous enough, cautious enough. :)
Day 10 – Songs I listen to when Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Happy song: Beach boys: Wouldn't it be nice
Sad song: I don't really listen to songs when i am sad. :p Cant answer this honestly.
Bored: The Radio.
Hyper: Jason Mraz (nowadays)
Mad: Again, I don't think i would listen to any song when i am mad, i might just put on music and distract myself with it.
That's five exercizes at one go! :) I'll be back soon, only five to go before I "graduate!" :)
Ciao!
Here are my next five exercizes that i will attend to in one breath:
Day 06 – Favorite super hero and why?:
Does Alladin count? He did some really incredible stuff! No? OK, so if we are talking strictly superheroes, I would choose Mr. Incredible :) For those who live in the "real" world, Mr Incredible is an animated big-town man who is a superhero by birth, had incredulous strength and magnificent reflexes, who fell in love with and married "Elastagirl" and they had superhero babies, but he was bound to matrimony and domesticized to a home-at-six desk job, away from his thrilling life. He stayed, furtively, on the crime fighting scene despite his admonishing wife. :) You have to see him squeeze his burly frame into his tiny vestibule of a car and drive to work by day and sneak out at night to crime-fight-cheat his wife by night to love him. :) He's downright adorable. :)
Day 07 – A picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on me.
Happily, I do not have anyone like this. :) Everyone ive met and who has made an impact on me has done it in spoonfuls at a time, and impacts have waxed and waned enough to not qualify anybody for this blogpost, no matter how creative i choose to be. :)
Day 08 – Short term goals for this month and why?
Oh, that's easy! I want to plan my first lone-vacation :) And i'm taking one goal at a time, given my habit of piling my plate and running around with it. :)
Day 09 – Something I’m proud of in the past few days.
Oh, I am on my own in a new city, and I'm doing just fine so far. Adventurous enough, cautious enough. :)
Day 10 – Songs I listen to when Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Happy song: Beach boys: Wouldn't it be nice
Sad song: I don't really listen to songs when i am sad. :p Cant answer this honestly.
Bored: The Radio.
Hyper: Jason Mraz (nowadays)
Mad: Again, I don't think i would listen to any song when i am mad, i might just put on music and distract myself with it.
That's five exercizes at one go! :) I'll be back soon, only five to go before I "graduate!" :)
Ciao!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
A habit i wish i didn't have..
I have so many habits i wish i didn't have, it has been quite a task, picking and choosing, while writing this post. But one particular habit that has been annoying me with how pervasive it is in all my thoughts and emotions, is how i stop myself (and now the habit expresses itself as naturally as method) from indulging myself, making myself happy, in ways that are silly or not.
A friend has recently observed that i am quite complacent, and easy to placate, because i don't REALLY want anything, so can do with most things. I suppose that makes me a very accommodating and easy going girl, but i did not like the sound of that. And A lot of profound introspection revealed that I live in a guilt ridden world where pleasures are met with guilt. In my head, everything pleasure inducing is filtered out before it maybe translated to action. I have not yet figured out why (i guess my introspection was not so deep after-all), but i suppose it stems from my natural tendency to keep to myself. I am not expressive and outgoing about my preferences, like i am not forthcoming about myself to most people. I hate to think that my preference might come in the way of what another is thinking or devising. I have been pushing all my desires to the backseat, so far back that now when i turned to find them, i could not locate any that could validate the me that is today.
So here's to dropping a bad habit, getting to know myself, and living accordingly. :) :) and this time, i know i've got it right! :)
A friend has recently observed that i am quite complacent, and easy to placate, because i don't REALLY want anything, so can do with most things. I suppose that makes me a very accommodating and easy going girl, but i did not like the sound of that. And A lot of profound introspection revealed that I live in a guilt ridden world where pleasures are met with guilt. In my head, everything pleasure inducing is filtered out before it maybe translated to action. I have not yet figured out why (i guess my introspection was not so deep after-all), but i suppose it stems from my natural tendency to keep to myself. I am not expressive and outgoing about my preferences, like i am not forthcoming about myself to most people. I hate to think that my preference might come in the way of what another is thinking or devising. I have been pushing all my desires to the backseat, so far back that now when i turned to find them, i could not locate any that could validate the me that is today.
So here's to dropping a bad habit, getting to know myself, and living accordingly. :) :) and this time, i know i've got it right! :)
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