blah!

this post is meant to mean nothing... i haven't written in a while and the interval makes me uneasy.
i've felt the first spark of ambition.... real ambition... last week.
i didn't quite know what it was. i've been familiar with only one dimension of ambition... "looking forward to something" :)

the other dimensions i called dreaming and wishful thinking remain, but somewhere special in my heart. they cannot and should not be described. :) what i felt recently was a rush of blood to my palms, my eyes, my feet... like i wanna start right now! maybe it is ambition, i have no standardized guidelines to say "yes this is it!" but it makes me feel happy thunking i can and want to do it.... :)

apart from this im living an invisible life, invisible even to myself. when i think i'll write. :)

thill then , :)