sometimes its just okay to be little again... immature, impulsive, unmannered......
laughing out loud whenever i really want to, breaking into song at the drop of a hat, saying lets go to the first idea that comes to my head.... there was a time i was this person... i was wild noisy company, unabashedly drinking from life like it was a high.... :) i loved that me....
enter responsibility, the "appropriate age" to have a goal, pressure to "get serious" and other stuff like that....
i did just that, got serious, buried my impulses, laughed in moderation... they said to be someone i would have to be serious and focussed.... i didnt know i'd lose myself to form this "identity"
i never knew what i felt anymore, it was trapped somewhere between reason and rhyme... even borrowed logic that i'm not supposed to feel such n such in such n such circumstances....
i was only one mosaic, a piece of modern art, that people find appealing, but it cannot be defined... it confirms to the interpretation of any veiwer who looks upon it...
then i looked into myself one day.
its was like visiting a place of the past that gave u comfort, a sepia toned era of warmth and ease.... i took a nose dive.... and there i was... me again :)
often i think about the futility of growing up... must we really?
i feel life doesn't get harder as we grow up, we choose to make it hard for us unconsciously...
people expect us to be different people suddenly and we accept those new different people as skins we have to grow into...
grown ups say no a bit too often for their own comfort... for youngsters there are 7 options between a yes and a no that they consider before "chucking it". i feel life deserves the latter kind of treatment.....
for the people who dont agree with me, i'm sure you are intelligent people... living everyday like it should be.... i'm only among those who want to live upto life rather than have life live upto me.... :)
cheers :)
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4 comments:
good piece!
even i would love to be what I am( or was??) really... Bt to think of it, it really depends on how u take it. inhibitions are not part of growing.. they in a way assist growing. I think I like what i am right now a lot more..as all these 'inhibitions' have directed me on a rout that is of poise n self comfort really.. stepping a level higher.. giving a top view.. n giving me a lil sense that this whole thing is a big interaction network.. its upto u, how n where u wanna be placed n how u look at it
cheers!
he he he....
these are things i am well prepared to forgo to remain my own small self.... getting bigger than me does'nt seem important at all...
i've never seen enough of the world from where i'm standing... moving up isnt on the agenda at least as of now.... :)
:)
for once we aren't parallel
Well said. At this point of life one does wonder what exactly was the real you. The uninhibited, free wheeler or the more poised but rather melancholic you.
The journey intially was outward bound, exploratory. While now one tends to recoil inwards. Life... weird,isn't she?
i guess thousands of years human evolution has resulted in societal expectations of increasing "maturity" when one ages...sadly defying something that has been encoded in the DNA of society can be unnerving...ive always wondered if there was another world (say in another parallel universe) in which one was forever young and died suddenly...tht would be great!
i like ur use of the words "sepia toned era"...instantly gives a picture of warmth and comfort which is probably what u wanted to convey to readers...
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