Overwhelmed....

It was a little more than a year ago when realization dawned on me, that i have something that i have always wanted. For the first time in life, an attachment was going to be easy and natural.

I had my head in the clouds and my feet in what can only be called shit. And he was that liberated soul with an attitude to match. I should have hated his guts and burned secret holes in his life with jealousy, he should have mocked me and made opinions of me as a deliberately screwed-up ridiculous girl. This was the plan. But what twist of fate made us friends is something that still bewilders me.

He was sweet, almost afraid to be sweet, always carefully reminding me that i should not form such an opinion of him, it doesn't really go with the rest of his image. I was amused, at the simple but audacious way he could brighten up an hour, an evening, a day a week... He was among a distant league of people, gregarious, outspoken, a total charmer. I saw him from that distance, fascinated and still amused. I was a shy, dilapidated girl who could not ingest the prospect of being the centre of anyone's attention, always content being the silent one. He lent me a new perspective. It was blinding seeing life with his eyes, uncomplicated, colorful, immediate and brilliant. I learnt the good old art of living in the present with him.. and this is where i started using words like "with him" and "us".. a mindless thought that would leave me laughing, there was no "us", he was still the soul in liberated flight, and i was still squinting to look up and marvel at him.

It takes a measure of equality to belong. There was no parameter that could satisfactorily equate us. The difference is still startling. He is Mr. i am in total control of my life, and i am still Miss. ok, i guess, maybe.. The common thread that binds us does not exist. I wonder what does. Like all things beautiful, it cannot be described. I have never before been bestowed this measure of understanding, respect and fair honest support. For the first time i wasn't feeling silly to say that angels do exist. He is a charming stark honest perfectly put together piece of work that i have an overwhelming urge to spoil him rotten with affection..

He has brought me the joy of a friend who is always there, he's shared with me his guileless ideas of how everything will always be alright, he has planted the roots of an ever elusive peace deep within me, he has been the reason for my happiness in many ways. I remain in awe, of him, his existence, his presence in my life, his audacity.. I am still a lost girl with my head out of the cloud, and my heart firmly lodged in his palms, in wonder of this feeling, with an urge not to blink or i will miss out on one more feeling of pure joy that he has endlessly wrapped me with :)

The pattern of destiny is not something i attempt to trace, but i know with permanence, that whatever happens ahead, i would have known an angel who let me look into his eyes enough to believe in forever...