i don't know what to title this one....

i was in a train, on a journey back home from a place 18 hours away. mid afternoon in a sleeper class coach leaves you with nothing to do but read/ listen to music/ talk to others, options which i exhausted rapidly. i submitted myself to watching a world framed by a grilled window. i wouldn't be able to tell you when it happened but i felt a gentle detachment from the world, like i was born again. my nascent memory couldn't recall the tall green leafy "things" that filed up against my view, my hands in my lap looked alien, the people in my compartment seemed like a hitherto unseen species of presumably civilized existence. it was as though i had unlearned everything i had acquired in life.

it was a mesmerising feeling that evaporated almost as soon as the fascination shone in. a new fresh start. your dirty slate wiped clean. a spectral bubble of promise and anticipation that burst only because i touched it with feeling it. life after that has been distinctly but unfathomably different. it still seems like god rearranged something in my life, and at that moment he hit the pause button.

slowing down in life can be about as hazardous as its break-neck speed. it makes me conscious of the several people who live in me.when i slow down to "smell the flowers" these "people" sequestrate as though each of my individual senses assume independent human form.it is at these brief episodes when i can watch my own life from a second, third, even fourth person point of view. it may sound to you adequately profound for maturity, but the truth is i never know of what consequence it might be or what is to be done with it.

then there are times when my other selves can't express themselves. life runs so fast that my integral self falls short of it. any effort to capture it reveals a blur, devoid of direction, colour or feature. at present i live in my latter self, trying to catch up with life, marvelling at the absolute servitude of god that we dwell in. for us, security means to hold, possess, sense in some way, anything we love, any place even person.... it is a deep-rooted compulsive human tendency, that is the defaming catalyst of the divinity of love. only god can achieve this, to make man understand and lose his perspective at once. where our perspective and understanding meet, i imagine, we'll touch the hem of god for one breathless moment....