“I've learned that good-byes will always hurt, pictures will never replace having been there, memories good and bad will bring tears, and words can never replace feelings" i don't know who wrote this :) but it fell in my lap just when i thought i needed someone to tell me....
it is so, that the last few months of my being have been a revelation of changes that have turned me around, carved new roads where i never anticipated roads could be tread... i've had to fight wars that came without warning and have found cushions in the queerest corners of my heart...
i've almost just survived (or have i?) and i dont have any way of explaining what really happened with me!!! i remember how hard the year 2006 was for us. we even wanted to make a bonfire of all we could find associated with that year.... but this year!!! i dont know what to do with it!!! this year has been a decade already, but it has made diamonds with its cuts and oyester pearls with the pain, every aspect of life came a round circle back to where it was, making me whole...
i realised i had a few precious things with me but was too occupied to notice them, like putting my fingers in my pocket to unexpectedly find a chocolate left behind..... :) i've had the best most uninhibited time with my friends (since junior college) in the last few months!!!
but there was a breach of trust here and there, there were disappointments, loss, injury, unforgivable behaviour.....and then forgiving and forgetting... most of all, a few questions dissolved into clarity....
i don't have answers or explainations, but i can look my doubts in the eye, i can adress them...
i dont know if i like self awareness yet, but its new, i'll look around.... :)
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