when everything in life has taken me where i least expected it, brought me joy from the places that were always in my peri-vision and brought all my dreams to fall into the traps of insecurity especially when my support system is slightly compromised, and all i can do is break down and marvel at the strange patterns of destiny that god's weaving into my existence, surrender to its complexity, i wonder if its all too screwed up to ever be right again... if every good thing is too late already and every dream is done fighting for.....
the beautiful picture i thought my life would make in a frame is transformed into a morbid form of modern art that does NOT make sense... and then i think that i made mistakes, i can learn from them still, i can wipe that canvas clean of the absurdity and start with new colors... maybe.... maybe i can...
the crash has been traumatic. its broken me down, but i have enough of me left to move... :)
i'll move, i'll paint that pretty picture again, i'll dream again...
i will...
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