A habit i wish i didn't have..

I have so many habits i wish i didn't have, it has been quite a task, picking and choosing, while writing this post. But one particular habit that has been annoying me with how pervasive it is in all my thoughts and emotions, is how i stop myself (and now the habit expresses itself as naturally as method) from indulging myself, making myself happy, in ways that are silly or not.

A friend has recently observed that i am quite complacent, and easy to placate, because i don't REALLY want anything, so can do with most things. I suppose that makes me a very accommodating and easy going girl, but i did not like the sound of that. And A lot of profound introspection revealed that I live in a guilt ridden world where pleasures are met with guilt. In my head, everything pleasure inducing is filtered out before it maybe translated to action. I have not yet figured out why (i guess my introspection was not so deep after-all), but i suppose it stems from my natural tendency to keep to myself. I am not expressive and outgoing about my preferences, like i am not forthcoming about myself to most people. I hate to think that my preference might come in the way of what another is thinking or devising. I have been pushing all my desires to the backseat, so far back that now when i turned to find them, i could not locate any that could validate the me that is today.

So here's to dropping a bad habit, getting to know myself, and living accordingly. :) :) and this time, i know i've got it right! :)